The Victorians had a way with words. Behind the prim reputation and buttoned-up morality lay a goldmine of creative, colorful, and surprisingly relevant slang. These words captured human foibles, social situations, and emotional states with precision that modern English often lacks.
Sadly, most Victorian slang has faded into obscurity. But it shouldn’t have. These words are too good to lose – expressive, imaginative, and perfectly suited to modern life.
Here are the Victorian slang terms that deserve a revival. Start using them. Be the change you want to see in the linguistic world.
Words for People
Gigglemug
Definition: Someone with a habitually smiling face.
Usage: “Don’t trust that gigglemug – he’s smiling through the bad news.”
Why we need it: “Gigglemug” perfectly captures those people whose permanent grins seem suspicious or forced. In an age of social media personas and professional positivity, we could use a word for those whose relentless cheerfulness seems not quite genuine.
Mutton Shunter
Definition: A policeman.
Usage: “Keep your voice down – there’s a mutton shunter on the corner.”
Why we need it: It’s more creative than “cop” and captures the Victorian working-class view of police as people who herd crowds (like mutton – sheep) around.
Scandal-Broth
Definition: Tea, particularly when served at gatherings where gossip is exchanged.
Usage: “The neighbors came over for scandal-broth and stayed three hours.”
Why we need it: Every book club, coffee morning, and brunch is really about the scandal-broth. This word acknowledges what we’re actually there for.
Skilamalink
Definition: Secret, shady, or not quite above-board.
Usage: “There’s something skilamalink about that deal.”
Why we need it: “Shady” and “sketchy” are overused. “Skilamalink” has personality and makes the speaker sound interestingly suspicious.
Podsnappery
Definition: The behavior of someone self-satisfied who refuses to acknowledge uncomfortable realities. From Dickens’ character Mr. Podsnap in “Our Mutual Friend.”
Usage: “His podsnappery about climate change is exhausting.”
Why we need it: We all know someone who waves away uncomfortable truths with a satisfied air. Podsnappery names this behavior precisely.
Suggestionize
Definition: To prompt or hint at something, especially dishonestly.
Usage: “The salesman was suggestionizing that we needed the extended warranty.”
Why we need it: It captures that specific kind of manipulation where someone plants ideas without directly stating them.
Words for States of Being
Cupboard Love
Definition: Affection displayed to get something in return, particularly food.
Usage: “The cat’s all over me – pure cupboard love.”
Why we need it: Pets, children, and even adults display cupboard love constantly. Having a word for it makes calling it out easier.
Afternoonified
Definition: Made smart or cultured, elevated above one’s station, putting on airs.
Usage: “Ever since she went to that cooking class, she’s become rather afternoonified.”
Why we need it: It’s a gentler way to call someone pretentious, with an implication that they’re trying too hard to be sophisticated.
Fagged
Definition: Tired, exhausted.
Usage: “I’m completely fagged after that meeting.”
Why it mostly disappeared: American slang gave “fag” different connotations, making the original British usage awkward.
Why we should reclaim it: It’s a punchy, satisfying word for exhaustion that isn’t overused like “tired” or “knackered.”
Mumchance
Definition: Silent, tongue-tied, struck dumb.
Usage: “When they asked for volunteers, everyone went mumchance.”
Why we need it: There’s no good modern word for that specific silence when someone should speak but doesn’t.
Meater
Definition: A coward.
Usage: “Don’t be such a meater – just ask them.”
Why we need it: “Chicken” is cliché. “Coward” is too harsh for friendly teasing. “Meater” fits perfectly in between.
Whooperups
Definition: Inferior, noisy singing.
Usage: “Their karaoke was pure whooperups.”
Why we need it: We’ve all endured whooperups. Having a word for it helps.
Tight as a Boiled Owl
Definition: Very drunk.
Usage: “He came home tight as a boiled owl.”
Why we need it: English has many words for drunk, but this one paints a picture. Why is the owl boiled? Don’t worry about it. Just appreciate the imagery.
Words for Actions
Shoot into the Brown
Definition: To fail spectacularly, to miss the target entirely.
Usage: “That product launch shot straight into the brown.”
Why we need it: It comes from shooting competitions where hitting the brown dirt instead of the target meant total failure. It’s more vivid than “bombed” or “flopped.”
Daddle
Definition: To walk unsteadily, to dawdle aimlessly.
Usage: “Stop daddling and pick up the pace.”
Why we need it: It perfectly describes that annoying way some people walk through shopping centers – not quite dawdling, not quite walking properly.
Arfarfan’arf
Definition: A pub-crawler’s order for “half and half” – half ale and half porter.
Usage: (Primarily historical, but fun to attempt ordering at a pub.)
Why we need it: Mostly for the joy of saying “arfarfan’arf” out loud.
Umble-Cum-Stumble
Definition: A term for understanding something, used sarcastically.
Usage: “You’ve finally come to umble-cum-stumble about how email works?”
Why we need it: It’s a more creative version of “finally got it” with built-in sarcasm.
Gas-Pipe
Definition: To lie, especially with flattery.
Usage: “He’s just gas-piping you to get the sale.”
Why we need it: “Schmoozing” is too neutral. “Gas-piping” has clear negative connotation.
Words for Situations
Not Up to Dick
Definition: Not feeling well, below par, not quite right.
Usage: “I’m not up to Dick today – might need to work from home.”
Why we need it: It’s more colorful than “under the weather” and somehow sounds appropriately miserable.
Doing the Bear
Definition: Courting the wrong person, pursuing someone inappropriately.
Usage: “He’s doing the bear with his manager’s wife.”
Why we need it: Romantic disasters need their own vocabulary.
Got the Morbs
Definition: Temporary melancholy, the blues.
Usage: “Can’t come out tonight – I’ve got the morbs.”
Why we need it: “Got the morbs” acknowledges feeling sad without the clinical weight of “depression” or the triteness of “sad.”
Poked Up
Definition: Embarrassed, put to shame.
Usage: “She was completely poked up when they found out she hadn’t done the reading.”
Why we need it: It captures that specific embarrassment of being caught out.
Make a Stuffed Bird Laugh
Definition: Something absurd or hilarious.
Usage: “His excuse was enough to make a stuffed bird laugh.”
Why we need it: It’s more imaginative than “ridiculous” and funnier than “laughable.”
Words for Things and Places
Bags O’ Mystery
Definition: Sausages.
Usage: “Bags o’ mystery and mash for dinner.”
Why we need it: It’s honest about what sausages are while remaining affectionate. Victorian street vendors actually used this term.
Collie Shangles
Definition: A noisy quarrel, a loud argument.
Usage: “The neighbors are having collie shangles again.”
Why we need it: “Argument” is too dignified for what some fights really are.
Orf Chump
Definition: Loss of appetite.
Usage: “I’ve gone orf chump since I saw that documentary about food production.”
Why we need it: It specifically means lost appetite, not “not hungry” – the distinction matters.
Powdering Hair
Definition: Getting drunk.
Usage: “He’s been powdering hair since lunchtime.”
Why we need it: From the idea that powdering one’s hair (as was fashionable) took you away from public view, just as getting drunk does. The euphemism is delightfully roundabout.
Phrases and Expressions
“Let’s Have Some Church”
Definition: Let’s be quiet and listen.
Usage: “Everyone stop talking – let’s have some church while Margaret explains.”
Why we need it: It’s a polite, slightly humorous way to ask for attention.
“Butter Upon Bacon”
Definition: Excess, unnecessary extravagance, over-the-top.
Usage: “The gold-plated phone case is butter upon bacon.”
Why we need it: The phrase captures unnecessary excess perfectly.
“Take the Egg”
Definition: To win, to succeed, to be the best.
Usage: “That presentation took the egg.”
Why we need it: More interesting than “take the cake” or “win.”
“Fly Rink”
Definition: A person who is both clever and unreliable.
Usage: “Don’t partner with him – he’s a fly rink.”
Why we need it: We know people who are intelligent but not to be trusted. This names them.
How to Start Using Victorian Slang
- Start with one or two words. Don’t suddenly speak entirely in Victorian slang – that way lies mockery.
The Lesson of Victorian Slang
Victorian slang reminds us that language is constantly evolving – words arrive, flourish, and fade. Every word we use today was once new; every slang term that feels timeless will eventually sound dated.
But good words can come back. The Victorians knew how to capture human experience in memorable phrases. Their words worked then, and with a little revival, they could work now.
So the next time you encounter a gigglemug serving scandal-broth, or you’ve got the morbs because someone’s been gas-piping you, remember: the Victorians understood.
They had a word for it.
Which Victorian slang term is your favorite? Which will you start using? Share in the comments – and don’t be mumchance about it!
