The United Kingdom has one of the oldest legal systems in the world, with laws dating back centuries. While many outdated statutes have been repealed over the years, a surprising number remain technically in force. Some are genuinely strange but true, while others are pure urban legend. This guide separates fact from fiction, exploring the bizarre laws that still exist in British legislation and debunking the myths that have captured popular imagination.
Real Laws That Still Exist
Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances
This is perhaps the most delightfully worded law in British legislation. Section 32 of the Salmon Act 1986 makes it an offense to “handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.” Before you laugh it off as absurd, this law serves a genuine purpose.
Why does it exist? The legislation was designed to crack down on salmon poaching and protect dwindling fish populations. Under the act, it is illegal to handle salmon if you believe, or could reasonably believe, that it has been illegally fished, received, retained, removed, or disposed of from an illegal source.
Is it enforced? Absolutely. As recently as July 2024, BBC reported that a man was fined for breaching this very section of the Salmon Act, demonstrating that this seemingly peculiar law remains actively used by prosecutors.
Recent updates: The Marine and Coastal Access Act 2009 amended Section 32, which is now headed “Handling fish in suspicious circumstances” and applies to trout, eels, lampreys, smelt, and freshwater fish as well as salmon.
Wearing Armor in Parliament
A statute from 1313, known as the Statute Forbidding Bearing of Armor, still technically bans Members of Parliament from wearing armor within the Palace of Westminster.
The law states: “In all Parliaments, Treatises and other Assemblies, which should be made in the Realm of England forever, that every Man shall come without all Force and Armor.”
Why does it exist? King Edward II introduced this law to prevent armed confrontations among nobles during heated parliamentary debates. Given the violent politics of medieval England, this was a sensible precaution. Despite its medieval origins, the law remains on the statute books today.
Would it be enforced? While nobody has tested this recently by arriving at Parliament in full plate armor, the law technically remains in force. Modern MPs might be wise to leave their chain mail at home, just in case.
Being Drunk in Charge of a Cow
Under Section 12 of the Licensing Act 1872, it is an offense to be drunk in a public place while in charge of a horse, cattle (including cows), a steam engine, or a carriage, or while in possession of a loaded firearm.
The penalty: A fine of up to level 1 on the standard scale or up to 51 weeks in prison.
Why does it exist? In Victorian Britain, horses and cattle were common modes of transport and essential working animals. An intoxicated person in charge of such creatures posed a genuine danger to public safety. The law was designed to protect both the public and the animals themselves.
Modern relevance: While steam engines are no longer a common sight on British roads, farmers and rural workers could theoretically still fall foul of this legislation.
Being Drunk in a Pub
Surprisingly, according to Section 12 of the Licensing Act 1872, it is against the law to be drunk in a pub. The act states that “every person found drunk… on any licensed premises, shall be liable to a penalty.”
Double jeopardy: Under the Licensing Act 2003, it is also an offense for publicans to sell alcohol to a person who is drunk, or for patrons to buy alcohol for someone who is drunk.
Is it enforced? While mass arrests at pub closing time would be impractical, these provisions give police and licensing authorities tools to address problematic drunken behavior when necessary.
Royal Fish: Whales and Sturgeons
Under the Prerogativa Regis of 1324, enacted during the reign of Edward II, all whales and sturgeons found on British coasts are technically the property of the Crown. These creatures are classified as “royal fish.”
Historical reasoning: According to legal commentator William Blackstone, the “superior excellence” of whale and sturgeon made them uniquely suited for the monarch’s use.
A curious division: According to medieval legal scholar Henry de Bracton, “the king owns the head of the whale, the queen owns the tail.”
Does it still apply? In practice, yes, though symbolically. When a sturgeon was caught in Swansea Bay in 2004, fisherman Robert Davies duly informed Queen Elizabeth II. The Queen graciously allowed him to use the 264-pound catch “as he saw fit.” Davies donated the fish to the Natural History Museum. Today, the Receiver of Wreck is the official appointed to take possession of royal fish, though in practice the Natural History Museum handles beached whales.
Carrying a Plank on the Pavement
The Metropolitan Police Act contains a provision stating that a plank of wood must not be carried along a pavement. It can only be moved if it is being unloaded from a vehicle or taken into a building.
Why does it exist? Victorian London’s crowded streets made pedestrian safety a concern, and long objects like planks posed genuine hazards to passers-by.
Modern scope: The law extends to ladders and other long, heavy objects.
Impersonating Soldiers, Sailors, or Police Officers
It is illegal in the UK to dress up as a police officer, soldier, or sailor, even for a costume party. The Seamen’s and Soldiers’ False Characters Act 1906 makes it illegal to pretend to be in the armed forces, while the Police Act 1996 prohibits impersonating police officers.
Why does it exist? These laws prevent fraudsters from using military or police disguises to deceive the public, and they protect the integrity of these institutions.
Enforcement: These laws are actively enforced, particularly where impersonation is used to commit other offenses or gain improper advantages.
No Plague Victims in Taxis
According to Section 33 of the Public Health (Control of Disease) Act 1984, anyone suffering from a notifiable disease such as plague, smallpox, or cholera cannot use public transport, including taxis, without first informing the driver.
Additional restrictions: The act also prevents individuals with such diseases from checking out library books or entering certain public places.
Modern relevance: While plague and smallpox might seem like historical concerns, the framework of notifiable diseases remains important for public health authorities managing outbreaks of various conditions.
Popular Myths Debunked
It Is Illegal to Die in Parliament
The myth: Anyone who dies in the Houses of Parliament is entitled to a state funeral, so dying there was banned to avoid the associated costs.
The reality: This is completely false. The Law Commission’s Statute Law Repeals team has confirmed that no such law exists. Furthermore, they have found no statute indicating that death in a royal palace is grounds for a state funeral.
Historical evidence: At least four people have died in the grounds of the Palace of Westminster without receiving state funerals: Guy Fawkes, Sir Walter Raleigh, Prime Minister Spencer Perceval (assassinated in 1812), and MP Sir Alfred Billson (who died while voting on a sugar tax in 1907).
London Taxi Drivers Must Carry Hay for Their Horse
The myth: London black cab drivers are required by law to carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats in their vehicle.
The reality: The Law Commission has confirmed this is not true. The myth likely stems from the London Hackney Carriage Act 1831, which regulated how drivers could feed their horses in the street. However, drivers were never required to carry hay or oats in their cabs.
Historical clarification: Hackney carriage drivers were required to carry sufficient hard food (such as oats) for their horse’s lunchtime feed, but this is very different from the bale-of-hay myth. The relevant provisions were abolished in 1976, nearly 30 years after the last horse-drawn hackney carriage was decommissioned in 1947.
Fun fact: Some taxi drivers today carry symbolic small bales of hay in their boots as a nod to this urban legend.
You Can Legally Shoot a Welshman with a Bow and Arrow
The myth: Various versions claim it is legal to shoot a Welsh person with a longbow after midnight in Chester, on a Sunday in Hereford Cathedral Close, or a Scotsman in York if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
The reality: Absolutely false. The Law Commission has clarified that “it is illegal to shoot a Welsh or Scottish (or any other) person regardless of the day, location or choice of weaponry.” Murder remains murder, regardless of the victim’s nationality.
Origin of the myth: Following a rebellion in 1403, the future Henry V may have given instructions regarding Welsh people within Chester’s walls. However, despite exhaustive searches, no official document recording such a law has ever been found. By 1408, Chester had elected a Welsh mayor, John Ewloe, suggesting the city’s relationship with Wales was more complex than the myth implies.
Placing Stamps Upside Down Is Treason
The myth: Affixing a stamp bearing the monarch’s image upside down on an envelope constitutes treason.
The reality: This is not true. It is perfectly acceptable to place stamps upside down on letters via Royal Mail. There is no law against it, and no one has ever been prosecuted for such an act.
Pregnant Women Can Relieve Themselves in a Policeman’s Helmet
The myth: A pregnant woman can legally urinate anywhere she wishes, including in a policeman’s helmet if she requests it.
The reality: This is a myth. Actually doing so would likely result in a fine under the Public Order Act 1986 for behavior likely to cause harassment, alarm, or distress. Police officers are under no obligation to offer their helmets for such purposes.
Mince Pies Are Banned on Christmas Day
The myth: Oliver Cromwell banned mince pies on Christmas Day during the Interregnum (1649-1660) to tackle gluttony.
The reality: No specific law banned mince pies. What did happen was that Christmas celebrations were discouraged by Puritan authorities, and Christmas Day was designated as a day of fasting. Any restrictions from this period have long since been repealed.
Why These Myths Persist
British law’s complexity makes fact-checking difficult. The country operates under four different legal frameworks: laws applying across the entire UK, laws specific to Scotland, laws for Northern Ireland only, and laws for England and Wales only.
Many outdated laws remain technically “on the books” even though they have been superseded by newer legislation. The Law Commission’s Statute Law Repeals team works constantly to clean up obsolete laws, having rescinded approximately 2,000 outdated statutes since 1965. However, the process is slow and painstaking.
The myths also persist because they are entertaining. They paint a picture of an eccentric nation with absurd rules, which appeals to both British self-deprecating humor and foreign fascination with British quirks.
The Genuinely Weird Laws
What is perhaps most remarkable is that the genuine laws are often stranger than the myths. Consider:
- You can be prosecuted for handling a fish suspiciously
- Medieval armor is forbidden in Parliament
- The monarch technically owns all beached whales
- Getting drunk in a pub is technically illegal
These real laws emerged from genuine historical circumstances and practical needs that made perfect sense at the time. The salmon law fights poaching. The armor ban prevented medieval political violence. The drunk-in-charge-of-cattle law protected Victorian public safety.
Conclusion
British law is a fascinating tapestry woven over centuries, containing genuine oddities alongside persistent myths. The real strange laws that remain on the books typically made sense in their historical context, even if they seem bizarre today. Meanwhile, the most entertaining “laws” people share are often complete fabrications.
Next time someone tells you about a peculiar British law, it is worth checking whether it is fact or fiction. The truth is often just as interesting as the myth, if not more so. After all, who needs the myth about dying in Parliament when you can cite the very real law about handling salmon suspiciously?
Whether you are a legal enthusiast, a trivia buff, or simply curious about British eccentricity, understanding the difference between real laws and urban legends offers a fascinating window into the country’s legal history and cultural character.
